I wish I only lived at night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
