Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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