i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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