We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
