She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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