Kiss
Puke
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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