Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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