She said her name was "party"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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