i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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