You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
