When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
