mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
