Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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