Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
home. puking in laundry basket.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We're too hungover to prance.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
