He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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