If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
