dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize