Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He better not be in your backpack
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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