So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize