A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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