Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize