I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
