What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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