Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
