just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
