Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
