To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
