I am puke
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize