THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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