The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
