just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
