lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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