During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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