Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices