Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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