I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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