Christians are straight up FREAKS
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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