she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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