Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
