What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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