if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
