I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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