there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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