So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
