Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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