Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize