So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize