I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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