he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
