i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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