What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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