Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
