At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize