JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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