Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
