idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
